Archive for August, 2011

18 Augusts R.I.P.

Should I be surprised that after 18 years of resuming classes in August (or September, if you count the post-Labor Day glory of elementary school) I am going through withdrawals?

Long live classic Lisa Frank!

Long live classic Lisa Frank!

No more trips to Walmart, Office Depot, Staples, or Target for coordinating folders, fresh college-ruled notebook paper, or superfluous protractors.  No more nervous filling out of agendas, mapping of the hallways, practicing of the lock combination, or ironing of the uniform.  Actually, I’m not sure if I ever ironed my high school uniform… No more midnight run to Walmart (well, 10 p.m. run for the first few semesters until the 24/7 one opened up the road) for plastic martini glasses, lined / un-lined index cards, or polka-dotted set of rain boots and umbrella.  No more calculating the commute (car + bus + walk), downloading the pre-class iPod playlist, impulsively purchasing of the overpriced wall poster, or stalking professors online profiles at ratemyprofessors.com.  Actually, I’ve never done preliminary research on a professor… In homage to my years of education, may 1992 – 2010 rest in peace, I offer an unusual reminiscence: my scholastic pet peeves.  Anyone can write about what everyone else does during school; so I will regale you with what nobody did…but me.

  • All the pages in a coloring book must be finished before a new coloring book can begin; this goes for to-do lists as well.
  • Pencils without erasers are not permitted.
  • Even if I know the teacher will never get to the part where the compass and protractor are required, you must faithfully carry them within easy reach in the pencil pouch at the front of the binder.
  • My book bag must be able to stand on its own four feet.  Literally: no slouching.
  • Gum is ABSOLUTELY required at all times—-no fruity flavors, only mint.
  • Take the prettiest, not shortest, route along the road, bus, or sidewalk.
  • Swing your umbrella in circles as you walk back from class, paying no attention until *SMACK* it hits you in the face.  Repeat.
  • Wear jeans as often as possible so you don’t have to shave your legs.
  • (1) August – September: full make-up and accessories (2) October – November: no make-up, one bracelet (3) December: please shower!
  • All doodling must be worthy of display in the High Museum of Art.  If it’s not, throw it away; stop doodling and pay attention.
  • Take notes—even if you already know the content.
  • Talk to the teacher and answer questions: always.
  • Stay after class to discuss the deeper implications and your own experiences and reactions: always.
  • Stop by whether it’s office hours or not: always.
  • Sleep in class: never.
  • Keep all textbooks—even if you already have a copy of that novel.
O! Education, long may you live on in the hearts of your Students, never ceasing to say: get a life! =)
And now, Ladies & Gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure:
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