Posts Tagged ‘ film ’

The Best Parts of Life Have No Record

Bahaha! *laughing and crying simultaneously*

Bahaha! *laughing and crying simultaneously*

I watched a film tonight about hunting Nazis—prosecuting war criminals using documentation, interviews, eye-witness accounts, etc.

Quite apart from the obviously incendiary content, the film threw me into contemplation of the past two and a half months of my life.  Months, which according to this blog, never existed.  Months, which according to my iCal were completely unpopulated with events.  Months, which according to my bank account, were only spent eating food and sleeping under a roof—oh, and an occasional theatrical excursion.

There is no record of the 1000+ backordered items that my staff and I have delivered to our customers.  Nor of the 13-hour days with only a meal and a half to see me through.  Nor of my emotional, spiritual, or psychological journey from a “college graduate” to a “young adult.”

And yet, all of this and more has happened.  One of the perversities of our digital age of immediacy is that there will forever be a record of the fried baby octopus I ate for dinner a week ago.  But vanished forever in the recesses of my spirit are the undulations of my soul, my connections with other people, my disillusionment with myself.

Facebook, play on.

WordPress, write one.

Heart, beat on.

There is One listening.

2012
08/29
CATEGORY
declarations
insights
ponders
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Job Application (1)

I understand where he’s coming from, my dad.  His job has been to provide for me and train me in the ways of self-preservation.  Not cheap psychological coping mechanisms, but the preservation of my body, soul, and spirit by the earning of money and applying of money to material needs.  Seeing his brilliant, confusing liberal arts daughter (he’s an engineer), move back into his generous home after earning a degree at a top university must have been a bit of a shock.

Don’t get me wrong: he likes having me home.  I order Chinese for everyone on Friday nights.  But apart from the pleasure of my company, I’m sure he’s a little nervous to see me coming and going through his back door still.  He’s taken to asking: “What jobs have you applied for lately?”

We won’t mention that I currently hold two “part-time” jobs that require full-time hours (i.e. I’m in management in both).

But today I applied for a job, one that I hope I will get and be glad to have gotten.  I’d like to be an editor one day (I tell myself in my moments of grandeur).  A connection I wisely cultivated sent me the call for applications she’d received from her lofty position as a paid filmmaker.  I have this habit of signing onto my email account five minutes after she sends these types of emails, leaving me wondering if the great Cosmos and His sidekick have made a delicious pass at my faith.  I submitted my new resume before the next (fateful) five minutes had passed.

how my heart hangs in the balance

how my heart hangs in the balance

The climax of this rising action remains to be seen, but be assured, dear reader, you shall know all in due time.

2011
03/12
CATEGORY
declarations
film
news
ponders
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Screening for the ATLFF

A friendly email invited me to apply for membership in the panel of screeners for the upcoming Atlanta Film Festival.  With innocent and smiling eyes I filled out the form and turned it in–hoping to make it, not sure what I was doing, but feeling cool every second of the process.

A friendly email notified me that I was in fact accepted into this circle of evaluators and would I please join a conference call next week?

Of course!

Now, I begin my journey through 90 films in 15 weeks, hallelujah.

I wish I could write about these films–the ones that grab my insides and squeeze, the ones that tickle me pink, the ones that leave me, just leave me.  But, alas, the beautiful privilege of screening denies me company in this adventure.  It makes me wonder what Someone must feel like Who knows and sees everything, the exquisite and the unlovely, and holds it all in silence.

Suspended in Silence

Suspended in Silence

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Pregnant silence.  The kind of silence that must fill the earth when sees germinate in the spring.  The kind of silence that whitewashes elephant bones.  The kind of silence that makes you want to seek other out but finds that no bridge could span its borders…

The truth, perhaps.

2010
10/15
CATEGORY
film
ponders
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The Horror of Losing Animation

The original post that shared this video commented that three years ago this short animated film about two girls that are trafficked into the sex industry would have been sensationalist.

Now, it is not. This reality is growing too familiar.

But animating the horror of human trafficking reinvigorated its tragedy. Whether victims are kidnapped as children or lured as women, trafficking manipulates and destroys the innocent expectation of good in the world. It is the expectation and hope of something better, perhaps marriage, perhaps a career, that is twisted toward their own destruction. This wounding goes deeper than physical trauma. The energizing vision that we have as children might be matured and focused as adults, but it is the power that pushes us forward.

And these women are arrested. Forced into stasis. Coldness. Immobility.

Some escape–their energy breaks through their bonds.
Others are still imprisoned, regardless or perhaps because of their rebellion.

This animated short articulates the deepest cut, the tragic manipulation of life’s energy into its own destruction.

little girls dream...

2010
04/01
CATEGORY
news
ponders
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