life is more than a dress rehearsal

One of my dear friends sent me a link to beautiful pictures of snowflakes.

As I sat there looking at the perfect structure and order at the microscopic level, I was stunned by the thought that the swirling chaos of our lives—especially our inner thoughts—always manifests itself in structure at the minute level.  Perhaps it is not as “perfect” as cause and effect, but the repetitious decisions that we make every day, the thoughts that we repeated absorb into our consciousness, render us as who we are.

For example, my life profoundly changed when I  decided to quite being ashamed of loving my two parakeets.  It seems a childish indulgence, but when I embraced my fancy for what my parakeet fancy was (a haven in world preoccupied with impressing itself on as many people as possible), it became a delightful source of joy.  I no longer fought with my natural inclination to smile when an image of their antics flitted through my head during a particularly intense business meeting.  And, as the State Farm (?) ads in which they show a chain of cause and effect, from a friendly smile to saving a life or what have you, my little smile in that business meeting probably made someone else’s day brighter.

My voice has been muffled of late by all the deluge of responsibilities and projects I am currently juggling, so I imagine that this post seems somewhat uncontrolled, unpolished, and unrefined.  But! I will not let myself be discouraged from thinking and smiling and writing.  In the end, all the little actions, the little consistencies in how I respond to my daily life: they will emerge as beautiful, regular, and yet unique expressions of my Self in all its swirling glory.

a little swirling snow